I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
you called me at 4 in the morning to tell me that your toaster burnt your english muffin, and that you "fuckin hated that thing."
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
This is my life. Enjoy the view
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize