Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
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