textsfromlastnight.com keeps rejecting me
that alone proves you never get laid, nor have a life.. or have anything funny to contribute to the world.
I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
Randomize
