I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
So I just went to clothing optional bar
Someone called asking about the gate code and I said "hashtag" for # instead of "pound." Ugh. I feel so dirty.
Randomize
