why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Randomize
