these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
Life lesson #57: drinking whisky out of apples leads to threesomes.
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
Randomize