I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
I came so hard my ears popped.
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Randomize
