Christians are straight up FREAKS
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
