Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
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