ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
Sometimes I forget to take my socks off when I masturbate. This always makes me feel like I'm accidentally in a porn.
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
And you know what the worst part is? Because of him I can now relate to a goddamn Taylor Swift song. FUCK. MY. LIFE.
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Randomize
