she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Randomize
