he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
Randomize
