How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
Randomize