She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
Randomize
