You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
You know you're getting old when you pick up hot sorority girls at the bar, and they write down their phone number, and under it 'we're great babysitters!'
Randomize
