...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
Randomize
