marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
