my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
