White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
Pretty sure I just became the first person ever to use the word "boner" in a wedding card...
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
MAGGIE IS ON MY COUCH PETTING AN HONEST TO CHRIST ARMADILLO AND SOBBING INTO HOT CHOCHOLATE. WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO HER.
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
