If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
I got fingered by sexual harassment panda last night, by a van, I can't remember if he took off his furry panda hands...
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
