I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
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