Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
Randomize
