I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
Randomize