so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
the day after is always just damage control
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Randomize
