You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
Randomize
