After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
I wish they had a "No Yankees" filter on status updates.
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Randomize
