TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
Randomize
