So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
He set two of my ex boyfriends on fire at two different bars without anyone knowing it was him or how it happened either time. He might be a fucking super hero
I mean, they were small fires and no one got hurt, but still. Awesome.
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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