If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
I was so drunk last night that I went into my 15 year old sisters room to have her peer edit the drunk texts I was sending to my ex.
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
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