Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
Randomize