super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
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