I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
I've spent so much time on tinder lately I just tried to left swipe an instagram photo of my neighbor
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
Randomize
