I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
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