I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
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