Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
You work out of a Hotel?
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
Randomize
