yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
Of course I have a pirate flag
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
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