i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
Randomize
