Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
I accidentally told him I've been cheating on him with his brother last night.
How did that happen by accident?
I was drunk and vomited all over him and thought, "maybe he will just stay with me out of pity if I tell him with stomach acid and alcohol all over his crotch." I was wrong.
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
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