If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
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