Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
Randomize
