no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
My life has hit rock bottom, I'm watching a movie on lifetime about retarded people falling in love. And I'm jealous of their relationship.
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
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