I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Randomize
