How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
'allo, good sire. how dost thy day goeth?
oh no. you're at that weird Renaissance Festival thing again, aren't you?
I am an inebriated elf. you may fucketh off.
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
Randomize
