That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
This is my gift to your gina
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
Im part way to drunk.
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
I just learned that the grill marks on a Burger King burger patty are actually previously burnt on there with a radioactive spray-on liquid and McDonald's french fries are actually 5% potato.
Randomize
