Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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