I just cut my nipple shaving
Kristen just told everyone at the bar that I've got a huge dick, now Brittany is giving me the eye. What is the opposite of FML?
Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
I think pants incapable of making pants work
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
Randomize
