Please, let me fuck your mom
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
Randomize