your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
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