it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
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