real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
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