I wish I could teleport
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
You drew a lightning bolt on your eye and stomach in eye liner and made me sing Poker face with you in harmonies. I never knew you were still a music major when you were drunk.
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
Randomize