ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
Drunk tip #47: Its better to overestimate how many plastic bottles itll take to urinate in, rather then underestimate.
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
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