I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
Randomize
