areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
Turns out the creepy dude who bought us tequila shots was the friend of a friend who then got us a table and several large bottles of champagne.
Never judge a man by his mustache.
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
Randomize
