Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
Well I found out I was essentially dumped and replaced by a hipster and apparently offered a girl $95 to go out with me. In the spirit of the Olympics I will not be spending any time on the medal stand.
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
Randomize
