My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
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