started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
Sorry about my life...
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
Randomize
