My kitchen smells like failed pina coladas.
I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
Randomize
