His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
Randomize
