dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
Just invented taco cereal.
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
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