fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
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