is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
foreskin is a definite game changer
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
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