If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
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