i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
I need to start journaling my drunk thoughts. Drunk me is fucking brilliant & sober me is missing out.
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